Fox River Mills

Sorry it got cut

The smell of alcohol on the breath of Papa. Mama's tinted red lips, which had probably where she was. But worst of all the memories of what took place yesterday evening in November when my brother not even twenty years had died trying to bring home old man from the sedan. It was a terrible night. Before that night mom has never cheated on Dad before that night, they did not fight so much, before last night Michael was indeed, trying to get enough courage to ask Dad Marbella Mansion for her hand in marriage. Before that night I never had to run like a bat you know that trying to keep what little sanity I had left. But that's why I ran after dinner, I ran to the only place that nobody will find me. A few ways to River. When the water lifted and fell when he wanted. In a way Michael had found a small spot of earth bless completely dry next to the water that was covered in beautiful blue eyes baby. I used to lie and rest in their sweet embrace, when Michael brought me there. One day when Michael surprised me with a small cottage, but beautiful. It was my birthday and every month he would not let me see what he was doing low marsh. But when he was just starting to get dark Michael lit a lantern and open the way to her own seat. When I saw the house, I started crying and she played off by saying, "you do not think will be Marbella mad that you spent all that money on a cabin Silly sister instead of build his person. He just shrugged his shoulders and pushed me more. I spend whole days in this very cabin, and when Michael died I did not leave it for one week. Mum thought I had fled. I due.
I stopped running when I arrived at the fork in the road. A drive to the old mill and the other at home. The path to the mill was dark and disserted, years not to be working took its toll on the old building. Half of the pillars hung and the water pump does not pump anything but the old reddish brown water. Just as Michael was lost in his prim. I pass on the way to the marsh and smiled. The sight of a spring evening news was already taken She left hidden in the forest. The birds were flying, he probably catch the last meal of the day before enjoying younglings there for the night. The forest has a sort of secret scary when he started to get dark. When the wind was blowing at a slow rhythm and the trees swayed silently to the music of the night. An owl screeched in the distance and the water moved and fought against the sharp rocks built up over years of erosion. There was something wrong. Stay here basically living here that you begin to learn a sixth sense for the forest. The animals were agitated and the ground had a sense of instability. Like something out of the forest. I turned around and saw until the red light shock in the River. I ran over the edge and peered over. There was the strangest thing in the fast-moving rivers of water. It was a fox like creature that was more a man and he had six beautiful tails. The dark water the color of this coat, but I never doubted that it was more red, then the setting sun.


Please read

I understand the criticism, this is only part of the prologue and I was planning to add something more gay and source of hope towards the end of it.

Now, it seems to me that this seems to be huge and needs a bit of separation in the paragraphs. I highly recommend using more than comparisons, metaphors and images to describe the environment, showing does not say is a key aspect. :)